FEMALE PSYCHOLOGY: WHAT WOMEN WANT

Ask the average guy to name some examples of
HOW men and women are different, and usually the
answer you'll get will include at least one of the
following:

  - Women want commitment more than men

  - Women want to get married and have kids and
men are happy just having sex and hanging out

  - Women either want 'Nice Guys' or 'Jerks'
whereas guys just want good-looking women 

  - Women give sex to get love, men give love to
get sex

  Here's the problem with this method of
thinking. 

  When you try to limit your way of thinking
about women and attraction to a set of
GENERALIZATIONS and STEREOTYPES, you're seriously
limiting your chances of ever getting past the
level of 'mediocrity' with women. 

  If you want to get interested in attracting
some seriously excellent women into your life,
you've got to go beyond where most men are content
to stay (read: where they'll get SOME women ... just
not necessarily GREAT women) and actually get a
deeper understanding of what's going on here. 

  Here's something else that could be secretly
crippling your ability to attract females: an
unspoken desire that WOMEN WERE MORE LIKE MEN.


  Ever heard a guy say something like this about
a woman: 'Yeah, she's pretty emotional.
Fortunately, I'm more logical'?

  Or, 'Why do women always have to blow things
out of context?'

  A lot of guys UNCONSCIOUSLY think in these
kinds of ways about women. Deep down, they wish
that women were MORE LIKE MEN. 

  They expect that, if they get 'good enough'
with women - or meet the 'right woman' - all her
behavior will start to make sense and they'll
naturally just fall 'into synch' with one another.

  Unfortunately, this is usually code for 'one
day I'll meet a woman who's enough like me that we
just 'click' and everything will be easy. Until
then, I'll settle for whatever comes along.'

  These are usually the guys who are WISHING for
something better, but who get tied down in
'accidental' relationships of convenience ... and
who develop a pretty serious case of the
how-the-hell-did-I-end-up-here's. 

  So please. Yes, it's true that men and women
are actually a lot more similar than most of us
realize ... we often both want the same things and
even have the same thoughts ...

  ... but there are still going to be differences,
and if you're interested in becoming a top-notch
kinda guy (read: the kind that excellent women
find irresistible), you've got to stop hoping that
the feminine brain can ever be reverse-engineered
or 100% understood by a guy. 

  Here's a little cold, hard biology to prove my
point ... did you know that what we think of as
'gender' has as much to do with BIOLOGY as
CULTURE?

  In other words, it's not necessarily 'nurture'
that makes a woman girly. 

  Give a little girl a choice between a truck and
a teddy bear, and studies show she'll reach for
the teddy bear. Translated into 'grown-up' speak,
that means that women tend to be more interested
in PEOPLE than they are in THINGS.

  Now obviously, there are no 'absolutes' in
place here, and we all know people who are varying
degrees of exception to the norm. But if you can
accept the FACT that women are inherently
different on a biological AND a cultural level, so
much the better. 

  Women are different from us. Expect
differences. But at the same time, if you're
trying to bury your confused little head in the
soothing sand of gender stereotypes, hear me when
I say that to do so is tantamount to broadcasting
signals that say THIS:

  'I am just another average guy, just like all
the other average guys out there! Quality women
need not apply! All excellent women will be
hopelessly overqualified to date me! Mediocre
women and mediocre relationships, taking
applications now!'

  Labelizing is childish and immature. Women will
know when you're trying to soothe your confusion
with outrage or labels. To succeed in this area,
you've got to get interested not in what you
EXPECT, but in what IS. 

  Following are 10 examples of how you can
improve your interactions with women RIGHT NOW.

  1.  Get her talking about herself.

  Here's something a lot of guys do: they start
churning out this big list of good qualities and
shamefully-transparent Ways That I'm Cool.
Unfortunately, this behavior pretty much screams
'insecurity', makes it blatantly clear that you're
trying to 'get something to happen', makes you
seem like a guy lacking in options, and will
effectively turn a quality women OFF. 

  To genuinely impress a woman, you have to act
with SUBTLETY. Give her the space to decide for
herself that you are a 'cool guy', and you will
ultimately arrive at that destination with a lot
more assurance and style than if you'd attempted
to pave your own way into her good books. 

  Here's something that I've noticed about human
nature: when it comes to 'intangibles' like
ATTRACTION, words actually mean a lot less than
you'd think. And in fact, TALKING about stuff can
actually RUIN an atmosphere that was building. 

  So if you're hanging out with a woman and all
of a sudden you start asking her if she's OK, if
she's having a good time, if she likes you, and
whether she 'sees this going anywhere', you're
going to kill the mood as quickly as if you'd
stuck a pin in a balloon. 

  Same goes for trying to 'seem cool' by talking
about stuff like how great your car is, how much
you got in your last raise, and how much you pay
in rent for your place. She doesn't want to hear
it, and it's just going to make it obvious that
her opinion means a lot to you - which IT
SHOULDN'T yet. 

  BUT, if you can just play it cool and allow
UNSPOKEN stuff to show you how she's feeling about
you, and allow YOUR unspoken behavior to create an
impression, and ACT COOL without having to talk
yourself up, you're going to seem a lot cooler
than if you'd tried to 'prove it' by opening up
your big mouth. 

  My suggestion is this: that you stop trying to
get something to HAPPEN, and focus instead on just
being there with her and making sure she's
enjoying your company in a laid-back and subtle
way. 

  Women tend to want men who make them FEEL
certain ways ... not men who try to logically PROVE
that they 'should be able to' make them feel
certain ways. 

  Let go of your need to convince her of
anything. Act like a guy with value.

  2.  Make her FEEL THINGS when she's with you. 

  Women are suckers for emotion. They want to
FEEL THINGS. They want to get INVOLVED. And when
you are talking about 'dry' stuff like your job,
the weather, and the dinner menu, she's not going
to be feeling ANYTHING. 

  Cue boredom and a burgeoning wish on her part
to end the date and go home early. 

  If you want to be the kind of guy that she
can't stop thinking about, you've got to involve
her EMOTIONALLY ... and then SHE will do the rest.
And that doesn't necessarily mean 'talking about
emotions', it means being a fun, interesting guy
who fills her up with all sorts of different
feelings. 

  A good way to create emotions is to make her
laugh. Be unpredictable. Talk to her about weird
stuff ('what would you do if you had a penis for a
day?'). Get her to tell you about stuff that MEANS
something. Don't just sit around eating food
together and 'being polite' - if you're out with a
woman, do something that will create excitement
and adrenaline. Personally, I like to take women
out to DO stuff: playing 1-on-1 basketball or
going swimming together. 

  3.  Don't do the whole 'funny insults' thing. 

  Guys are often rude to each other. We like it
that way. We talk about farts, we belch, we cuss,
and we make fun of each other. 

  If you want to create a sexy, flirty
atmosphere, treat her like a lady (but don't take
this as an excuse to hold back on the flirting and
playful funny-talk.) Focus on making her feel like
a woman, and she will respond by being upping the
femininity more and more. It's a hell of a way to
create 'an atmosphere'. 

  4.  Learn how to talk about stuff that's
INTERESTING to women. 

  Start broadening your understanding of the
world. Read magazines, watch TV and the news,
check out blogs and newsposts on the Internet.
Pick up quirky facts. Get interested in pop
psychology and offer to 'read' her personality for
her. 

  5.  Know that looks matter ... but not as much as
you think they do. 

  Women, believe it or not, are NOT as much into
looks as you are. 

  Obviously, a toned and muscular body will help
you to be more successful with women (and is
hopefully something that you're interested in
getting FOR YOURSELF as a mark of self-respect),
but it is not essential. 

  The thing that tends to attract females is a
feeling that you are socially 'better' than they
are. Women are very rarely attracted to guys who
are further down the status line than they are,
but they will often go for a man who has 'social
value'.

  'Status' can be summed up as a perceived
ability to 'make things happen'. For example, in a
club, the owner of the club is usually attractive
to lots of women because he has a perceived POWER
and ability to 'make things happen' within that
environment. Women are often drawn to that ability
in a man because, to some extent, they want to be
with a guy who can protect them and boost their
OWN social standing. 

  In fact, most women would prefer to be with a
high-status and physically average-looking guy
than a good-looking, low-status guy. 

  Other signifiers of social value include:
laid-back posture; pronounced personal style; lots
of friends; interest from other women; and, to a
lesser extent, good looks. 

  6. Don't get upset if she's upset.

  Sometimes women get upset. They don't want to
also feel responsible for YOU being upset. One of
the best and MOST POTENT ways to demonstrate to a
woman that she's with a powerful, in-control guy
is that you DO NOT get freaked out by tears or her
upsets (even if they are directed at you.)

  Sometimes a woman will get upset because, on
some level, she needs to know that she can trust
you and that she's 'safe' with you (i.e. she can
rely on you to be in control.) If you can stay
calm and not get fazed if she's upset, crying, or
frightened, this will increase her overall regard
for you MASSIVELY. 

  7. Let her get it off her chest.

  Suggestion: unless she has SPECIFICALLY ASKED
for your advice, resist the urge to give it to
her. If she's venting about something, put your
attention on just being with her and letting her
talk. Don't interrupt, and try not to offer
solutions. Just let her talk, and empathize with
her while keeping it short and sweet ... so no
trailing anecdotes about the time that you did X.
(Stick to 'I know how you feel.'

  8.  Allow for feminine subtlety. Expect it. 

  A lot of women were brought up with a huge
focus on being 'polite' (particularly the sweet
ones.) Unlike a lot of guys, who are quite happy
to say exactly what they feel like doing or don't
like, many women will 'suggest' things and hope
(silently) that you are one of the UNUSUAL MEN who
can pick up on subtlety. 

  Try listening between the lines. For example,
if a woman says, 'Wouldn't it be nice to do X?'
you can translate that as meaning, 'I want to do
X.' If she says, 'I don't know ...', translate that
as meaning, 'No, thank you.'

  If you can do this without making a big deal of
it, she's going to know that you're one of a kind.

  9.  Learn how to talk with your body. 

  Learn to use your body to convey status and
interest to a woman. Have you ever noticed that
men who women find 'attractive' often have a very
similar way of holding and moving their bodies? It
usually involves 3 attributes: 

  - Slowness. Don't move quickly.

  - Smoothness. No jerky movements.

  - Steadiness. Don't fidget around a lot. 

  Holding your body in this way comes across very
powerfully to women and instantly lends you more
authority and power. Get some male role models
from movies and real life and pinpoint what about
them it is that conveys easy, powerful
masculinity. 

  10. Spend money on your skills. 

  If something matters to you, don't skimp on it.
If you want to figure out how to 'get good' with
women and with LIFE, sometimes you'll need to
strategically spend some energy - in the form of
cash - to get the ball rolling. 

  Consider what is important to you and be OK
with investing in it. If a seminar or a book or a
course seems to be 'speaking' to you, and you get
that feeling that goes, 'I think I need to know
this,' do it. Never stop improving your skill base
- and the best way to do that is to RESEARCH. 

  Hopefully, these tips have given you a position
of strength from which to start your improvements.