PART (1) TRUTH ABOUT HOW MEN THINK

  Hey, Dear!

  Let's take a look at the 'male mind', and how a
working knowledge of it can help YOU get in touch
with your true, irresistible self. 

  Today I'm going to be typing at you about how
men really feel about women and dating, women and
relationships ... and whether all those male/female
stereotypes are actually true.

  First of all: let's deal with STEREOTYPES, and
how they can actually HARM your relationships with
men. 

  There are a lot of women walking around out
there today who have, on some level, bought into
the idea that 'Men are so-and-so'. 

  Let me give you a few examples. 

  'Men are crap.'

  'Men rule the world.'

  'Men just want sex.'

  'All the good men are taken.'

  These are all STEREOTYPES, and when you buy
into them, you BLIND yourself to the near-infinite
number of rich, satisfying possibilities that
actually exist out there, RIGHT NOW, for you to
enjoy. 

  Not only because your beliefs, to a large
extent, form self-fulfilling prophecies in your
own life ...

  ... but ALSO because men can often SENSE when a
woman is harboring a bitter and frustrated
stereotype about men, and to a quality guy, that's
pretty repulsive. 

  Let's deal with this one thing at a time. 

  If you've bought into the idea that, say, 'men
just want sex', it's not hard for you to CREATE
that prophecy for real in your own life. 

  Example: I was watching the movie 'Closer'
recently. In it, there's a scene near the
beginning where Julia Roberts' character has just
kissed Jude Law's character. During the make-out
session, she asks him if he's living with his
girlfriend. He says that she is.

  Julia Roberts then says to Jude Law, 'Men are
crap.'

  He smirks at her and says, 'All the same,
though.'

  She says, 'They're still crap.'

  For those of you who haven't seen the movie:
RUN, don't walk, to the store, rent it, and watch
it tonight. I'm not kidding. 

  For those of you who have seen it: you'll know
exactly which scene I'm talking about. 

  Now, it's true that Jude Law's character may be
'crap' (being a cheater, who just made out with
Julia, despite already having a live-in
girlfriend.) 

  BUT, Julia Roberts' character KNEW that he had
a girlfriend when she kissed him. 

  And yet, she still went ahead and kissed him. 

  Why? 

  Because she ALREADY BELIEVES that 'men are
crap.' 

  She believes, on some level, that there are NO
OTHER OPTIONS out there for her (i.e. men who
AREN'T crap) ... so she may as well make out with
Jude Law's character.

  This belief 'frees her', in some way, to make
out with him, even though she KNOWS he's taken.
And of course, acting on that belief just proves
to her, again, that it's true. ('Another man I've
gotten involved with who is, like all of them,
CRAP.')

  She's creating a SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECY, that
all men (in her life) are 'crap', by believing
that stereotype, acting accordingly, and then
buying into it when things turn out unhappily, as
she'd expected ...

  ... instead of using some self-awareness and
REALIZING that it's her own belief, in part, that
leads her to become involved with those 'crap'
men. 

  So reason one: buying into stereotypes can
influence you, UNKNOWINGLY, to cause those ugly
beliefs to actually manifest themselves in your
life. (You are creating your own reality.)

  Reason number two: women who believe bitter
stereotypes about men have a certain air about
them. Their actions and reactions are tainted with
that particular belief, and it's not hard to pick
up on. 

  Men, of course, are not drawn to this quality. 

  Think about it this way: imagine if you were
spending time with a man, and you came to realize
that he believed that women were 'only good for
sex.'

  Or that 'men are smarter than women.'

  It wouldn't be too hard to figure out that's
how he felt. Those beliefs would flavor most of
his actions towards you ... everything from how he
spoke to you to how he looked at you to how he
introduced you to his friends would SCREAM
'contempt'. 

  And I'd bet money right here and now that you
wouldn't be interested in getting to know this guy
any better, once you knew where he was coming
from. You'd hightail it out of there!

  The problem with basing your beliefs on
STEREOTYPES is that ...

  - They poison your ability to actually SEE
what's happening around you, and to act
appropriately

  - They're a form of self-fulfilling prophecy,
actually drawing people and situations to you
which uphold your (wrong and limiting) beliefs

  - They repel quality men and relationships from
you

  If you want to create fantastic, enchanting,
magical relationships, you've got to get
interested in what's REALLY going on. 

  And that means, you've got to get skeptical of
yourself. Start looking inside your own head at
what your motivations are. What do you REALLY
think about men? Could it be affecting the way you
act around them?

  Of course, yesterday, I said that you don't
need to understand men fully in order to attract
them. 

  And now I'm saying you need to 'deepen your
understanding' of what's REALLY going on. 

  Let me explain the difference. 

 Embracing masculine mystique, and burying your
head in the sand, are two completely different
things!

  You are probably never going to COMPLETELY
understand men ... but if you can at least
understand why men are the way they are in certain
situations, your path to true love is going to be
a lot smoother than it otherwise would be. 

  'Not understanding men 100%' and 'bowing out by
accepting stereotypes' are NOT the same thing. 

  Being realistic about your limitations and
being ignorant are not the same things at all!

  Here's the truth: figuring out the real, honest
mechanics of masculine behavior (including its
origins) is one of the best things you can do to
set yourself up for success in the dating game,
and to avoid heartache. 

  And that begs the question ... ARE men really all
that different to us?

  And if so, HOW? 

  This used to be a topic of some pretty hot
debate. At one time (and not that long ago), it
was extremely fashionable and 'correct' to believe
that men and women were 'equal' in all things ...

  ... that our only differences lay in our physical
topography. 

  Now, though, that theory's been blown right out
of the water.  Now we know that the male brain is
actually EXTREMELY different from the female
brain. 

  And as a result, EVERYTHING about 'how men
operate' - their values, their communication,
their basic skills - are different, too. 

  Men's brains contain approximately 6.5 times
the amount of gray matter ...

  ... the stuff needed for logic, maths, and the
processing of FACTS ...

  ... than women. 

  On the other hand, women's brains have about 10
times as much WHITE matter ...

  ... needed for language skills, communication,
and emotional fluency ...

  ... as men do. 

  To give you an idea of WHY this is (and hence,
why we are the way we are ... and THEY are the way
they are), let's take a quick look at some
background. I'm not an anthropologist, but I'll
just give you the basics. 

  Some researchers believe it's because human
evolution has naturally created two different
types of brains, which are both equally
intelligent -- just in different areas.

  In prehistoric times, for example, men were the
hunters. As a result of this, they developed
hunting brains: brains that are good at assessing
physical situations, calculating speeds and
angles, tracking and mapping the surrounding
environment. 

  See how this ties in with the modern man's
prepossession with video games, sports games,
golf, and any pastime that requires spatial and
logical ability? 

  Women, on the other hand, were believed by many
to be the gatherers and nurturers: they spent
their time raising children (communication,
language skills) and gathering berries and plants
(good peripheral vision, plus fine-motor skills.)

  So, we developed nurturing brains: brains with
bigger communication centers, with bigger
emotional memory centers, and a greater ability to
understand and reference body language and cues in
other people. 

 Our behavior, as men and women, is dictated by
our brains. And when you consider that each
gender's brain is structured so incredibly
differently, does it really come as a surprise
that our behaviors are so divergent? 

  Of course, obviously this all varies on a case
by case basis. Not all men are skilled at logic
and math, just as not all women are skilled at
emotional fluency and communication. But as a
GENERAL RULE, those are the things that each
gender TENDS TO be 'wired' to do from birth. 

  So ... does this mean that it's 'right' to
embrace stereotypes?

  Nope. This should just give you a better idea
of what the real story is as far as the male and
female brain is concerned. 

  That information can come in pretty handy when
it comes to making appropriate choices where men
and relationships are concerned.

  Let me give you a few examples of what I mean -
following are 9 tips for creating EASY and
EFFECTIVE communications with men (guaranteed to
smooth the path of true love.)

TO BE CONTINUED....