YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW DATING AND ATTRACTING MEN REALLY WORKS? PART 2

These are some principles to help ...

  PRINCIPLE #1. "Men and women are different."

  PRINCIPLE #2. "Men are attracted to females
because they're females."

  PRINCIPLE #3. "You're not OWED a relationship -
you EARN one."

  The 'issue' with these 3 principles is that, at
first, they SOUND pretty self-evident.

  Most women respond by thinking, 'Yeah, but I
already KNOW all of that. Tell me something I
DON'T know!' 

  ... and they fail to realize that there's a big
gap between KNOWING SOMETHING, and actually
APPLYING IT.

  For example: I bet we all know someone who's
known for talking about how they're going to do
something ... going on a diet, working out, quitting
smoking, or what have you. 

  But after a couple of weeks have gone by, most
of those 'good resolutions' have gone right out
the window .. and that person has gone back to
their 'old' lifestyle. 

  They KNOW what they 'should' be doing to get
the result they want ... but they're just not
actually DOING IT. 

  (A perfect example of this is a New Years'
Resolution. How many of THOSE get stuck to
long-term?)

  This course will teach you, first, what you
need to know - and also HOW to apply that
knowledge to your own life. 

  So let's look at these three principles in just
a little more detail. This will give you a better
understanding of how important they are, and an
expectation of what the next three days will
contain.

  Afterwards, we'll take a brief look at what
we'll be learning in the remaining three days of
your 6-part mini-course. 

  PRINCIPLE #1 (DAY 2:) "Men and Women are
Different"

  Now, I know that this doesn't necessarily sound
like a revolutionary idea ...

  ... but just hold on a moment. 

  It's easy to consciously think to ourselves,
"Men are different from us." 

  But it's ALSO pretty easy to let that belief
just 'float' up there in our conscious minds,
without actually allowing it to affect the way we
BEHAVE around men. 

  How often have you, in the past, addressed a
question or a comment to a man, and been
frustrated, irritated, or hurt by his response?

  It's usually because we were EXPECTING him to
respond in a certain way ... usually, in the way
that WE would have responded if we had been him. 

  When we talk to men, most of us end up
UNCONSCIOUSLY projecting our own personalities and
our own gender onto them. We want them to respond
to us in the way that WE would respond, were we in
their shoes. 

  So when we get a response that varies from what
we'd expected, we get annoyed. 

  Or hurt. 

  Or confused. 

  And then we feel resentful, and it shows, and
things start getting bumpy.

  But WHY is that?

  Because we've forgotten that MEN are NOT WOMEN!

  We know it consciously ... but 'consciously' is
not enough to affect our actual BEHAVIOR and
FEELINGS. 

  It is not helpful to project feminine
characteristics onto a man, even unwittingly ... and
yet, LOTS of women talk to the men in their lives
as though that man is, actually, a WOMAN like
themselves. 

  (By the way ... this can happen at ANY point
during a relationship. Some women do it 'later
on', and some women even do it on the first date.)

  We talk to him as if he's a girlfriend or a
sister. 

  And when he doesn't RESPOND like a girlfriend
or a sister would, we get ANNOYED, and start
thinking about the 'If Onlys' ...

    "If only he'd just be a little bit more ___."

    "If only he'd stop saying ___." 

  "If only he'd stop doing ___."

  (And let's not even go INTO what HE'S thinking
at this point.)

  Now let's take a quick look at another aspect
of this behavior ...

  Many women are OK with the fact that a man's
behavior will be mysterious to them AT FIRST.

  They expect mysteries and questions AT FIRST.
(Such as, him not responding in the way that
they'd expected.)

  But they expect to be able to 'figure him out'
EVENTUALLY, after 'getting to know him better'...
and when, of course, they CAN'T figure him out no
matter how much water goes under the bridge ...

  ... yep, you got it. They get upset. They start
to worry, and feel like something's 'wrong' ... and
end up CREATING a problem out of thin air. 

  ('Why don't you tell me how you feel? Why
didn't you tell me that?' ... etc.)

  Know what?

  No matter HOW WELL you get to know a man,
aspects of his behavior will FOREVER remain a
mystery to you.

  And you know what else? 

  THAT'S OKAY. 

  You don't need to understand men fully in order
to attract them, OR to KEEP them. 

  It's quite all right for you to be mystified by
masculine behavior sometimes - in fact, it's
NORMAL and HEALTHY. You are NEVER going to know a
man 'inside and out' ...

  ... and in fact, he is always going to be much,
much more than what you think of him.

  It's helpful to keep this in mind, as taking
our own knowledge of our dates and partners for
granted is a great way to tarnish a great
relationship. 

  Principle #2 (Day 3) "Men are Attracted to
Females Because We're Females"

  Yes, yes, I know this one sounds pretty
self-evident too. But bear with me here - it gets
better.

  Let me ask you this:

  Have you ever experienced the phenomenon of The
Amazing Sex-Changing Friend?

  I have. (In fact, before I wised-up, I was
actually guilty of this a few times myself.)

  First: this is not an ACTUAL, PHYSICAL sex
change we're talking about here. 

  It's a lot more insidious than that.

  Here's what usually happens: lots of women,
when they find a guy they really like, begin to
undergo a perplexing metamorphosis. 

  They begin to 'scuff off' their own
personalities, hobbies, interests, and pastimes ...

  ... and replace them with the personality,
hobbies, interests, and pastimes of their lover. 

  They are becoming a VERSION of the man they're
dating. 

  Here's how it goes ...

  They start 'taking an interest' in the things
that HE'S interested in (even if, really, they
could care less) ... and they start giving a LOT
more priority to him than they do their OWN
friends, and their OWN lives.

  Now, let's talk turkey for a moment. I'm not
suggesting that you arbitrarily begin to NOT see
him, or that you should 'make yourself scarce' or
make a point of seeing your friends more than him
to 'keep him in his place'.

  (Read: game-playing.)

  But the fact is, is that DROPPING your own life
and your own LIFESTYLE in order to adopt somebody
else's ...

  ... (and, usually, this gets done out a misplaced
attempt to make him like you more, which makes it
EVEN MORE damaging and needy-seeming) ...

  ... is simply not the way to go if you want to
create loving, healthy, fulfilling relationships
that go the distance. 

  (Ditto for retaining your self-respect - and
your friends.) 

  When this starts to happen, here's what HE
thinks: 'Hey - where'd she go?' 

  The woman that he was actually attracted to has
vanished into thin air, to be replaced with a
strange version of himself. 

 A version of HIM, who incidentally happens to
have breasts and a vagina ...

  ... but who ALSO has, all of a sudden,
near-identical tastes, interests, preferences,
reactions, and sense of humor.

  This behavior - the 'I-Like-You-So-I'll-
-Become-You' trait - is COMMON.

  Furthermore: it's a leading cause of premature
death in attraction and relationships!

  Why?

  Because it REEKS of insecurity. The kind of
women that 'quality men' tend to like is easy to
get on with, sure - but above all, she has
SELF-RESPECT, and she loves herself. 

  Suppressing your 'real' self in order to take
up HIS 'self' is just not the kind of thing that a
woman with backbone (a.k.a. a DESIRABLE FEMALE)
would do. Most guys (the ones worth having,
anyway) can SENSE that when some spine is lacking
... 

  ... and it turns them OFF.

  Couple this with the fact that they miss the
woman they STARTED dating (hint: that's you - the
REAL you!) ... the one who's been replaced by a
scary 'he-clone' with boobs ... and you've got a
recipe for instant mediocrity. 

  And no, it doesn't matter how pretty you are or
how hot things get in the bedroom, either. This
isn't something that can be 'rationalized' away
with 'logic' or 'reason' ...

  ... and no, him telling you he's 'so into you',
despite this type of behavior, doesn't count as a
reason to carry on with it, either. 

  Why? 

  Because men don't usually want a woman who
needs to be validated or reassured. 

  They want a woman who ALREADY KNOWS what the
deal is ... and who values HERSELF, without needing
approval from HIM. 

  This kind of validation-seeking behavior ...

  ... when you're pretty sure that something's up ...
but instead of listening to yourself, you start
asking, 'Is everything OK?' 'Are you mad at me?'
'You seem distant, what's going on?' ... 

  ...is rooted in insecurity and fear (that he
won't like you as you are), and it's an
attraction-killer. 

  (Furthermore - sooner or later, you're going to
miss your OWN self-respect. Take it from me.)

  Fact: guys are not attracted to you because you
resemble them. 

  They don't want to date another 'guy'. And they
ESPECIALLY don't want to date a guy who's just
like THEY are!

  Men want to date women - women with backbones,
who already 'get' how to act appropriately in
relationships.

  And women are, by definition, completely
DIFFERENT to men.

  By the way ... if you should happen to be
genuinely interested in the things a man is
interested in, this is NOT to say that you should
pretend otherwise. 

  (Hopefully, that's obvious.) 

  BUT ... you should never feel the need to FAKE an
interest in something, or FAKE a personality
that's just NOT YOU, in order to create or
perpetuate an attraction.

  Don't be guilty, apologize for, or attempt to
conceal your womanliness and your own personality.

  Women are mysterious creatures to men. And a
lot of the time, that unexplained 'essence of
femininity' is what men find so appealing. 

  As a rule ... don't pretend to be interested in
shooting ranges, soccer pitches, or car racing if
you're not. (Of course, a little friendly
'polite-interest' in his passions never goes
astray ... but definitely there's no need to break
out the 'Footballer's-Wife' act if it's not your
cup of tea.)

  And don't feel bad for doing the things that
YOU love, that he does not. 

  (SIDE NOTE: did you know that taking pride in
what YOU LOVE - even if it's a little 'dorky' or
you feel unsure of saying so - is actually one of
the hallmarks of a genuine, quality person?) 

  So in other words, no pretending 'non-interest'
in traditionally 'girly' things that you actually
ARE interested.

  It's all about being authentically you. When
you are how you are - and you let yourself BE how
you are without self-editing or twisting yourself
into awkward shapes to impress anybody - there are
several immediate benefits:

  You ooze self-respect and high self-value.
(READ: Instant, MASSIVE turn-on to quality, smart
men.)

  You prevent yourself getting tied up in
relationships with men who are NOT into the kind
of woman that you really are.

  You lay out the welcome mat for men who are
actually COMPATIBLE with you.

  Pssst - femininity (no matter what shape or
form it comes in) is sexy. And by the way ...you are
a woman, therefore your own style is, by default,
'feminine'. 


  Now let's take a look at what we'll be covering
in Day 4 (Principle #3.)

  Principle 3 (Day 4) "You're not OWED a
relationship - you EARN one"

  Part of having a fantastic relationship is
being WORTHY of having one (a.k.a.  being a
top-quality human being.)

  The only problem here is that, for many women,
a relationship is something that (deep down) they
feel ENTITLED to, as opposed to something that
they actually DESERVE.

  The result?

  When they finally DO get a relationship, it
becomes poisoned by feelings of 'I'll give you
this if you give me that', which stems DIRECTLY
from a feeling that an 'emotional debt' has
finally been paid to them.

  Here's the deal ...

  Relationships are not about 'emotional
transactions'. Instead, they are fabulous
opportunities for you to learn about yourself,
learn about others, and actually CONNECT with
someone. 

  Unfortunately, most of us are far too
interested in protecting ourselves, and checking
off boxes on a list of 'relationship qualities'
that we THINK we want, to be able to see (and
enjoy) what's right there in front of us.

  We just get all tangled up with having our
'ideals' met ... and it gets right in the way of
having a REAL RELATIONSHIP. 

  Here's a secret: what a lot of women think of
as "rejection" is often a LEARNING EXPERIENCE.

  Let me explain. 

  Did you know that your attitude actually
CREATES your reality?

  It's true. This all boils down to quantum
physics, and the Law of Attraction which states
that 'whatever you appreciate, appreciates.'

  In other words, whatever you're thankful for
and happy about, you will get more of. 

  It stands to reason, then, that when you are
'down' about something, and you expect failure (or
rejection), that's actually what you GET. 

  Does this mean that if you force yourself to
believe that every man in the world is attracted
to you, then that's what you'll get? 

  No, unfortunately, it's not quite that literal.

  What it DOES mean is that, if you can believe -
really BELIEVE - within yourself that a fantastic
relationship is your birthright, and that it WILL
come your way sooner or later, then you WILL
manifest that reality in your life. 

  Of course, you may still have to experience
some rejection first. 

  But funnily enough, that belief - the belief
that every rejection is taking you a step closer
to your TRUE love, and the relationship that you
deserve - tends to take the 'sting' out of
rejection.

  And when you're able to relax into the moment
and accept your reality, as it is right now,
without struggling against it or wishing that it
was other than it is ... THAT'S when things start to
fall into place. 

  On a more practical level, consider the value
of someone who is whiny, acts powerless, and
complains a lot, to somebody who is peaceful,
calm, accepting, and optimistic. 

  People who complain, and who put out negative
energy, are frankly quite repellent. 

  People who are HAPPY, on the other hand, are
sexy. You just want to be around them. 

  It's hard to be happy when you don't believe
that the 'right person' is out there somewhere for
you.

  But it's not difficult to just chill out and
RELAX, and let things happen naturally without
trying to FORCE intimacy, when you're sure that
one day - maybe tomorrow, maybe next year - you
are going to meet the guy who'll just be WOWED by
you (and who you will feel the same about.)

  What you appreciate, appreciates. 

  So it makes sense to create USEFUL beliefs -
beliefs that SUPPORT your attractiveness and
irresistibility, doesn't it?

  Here's something that's even better: when you
learn not to think of dating and relationships as
either being rejected or being accepted (i.e., as
winning and losing), you'll be able to grow as a
person every time you experience a setback. 

  Oh, and incidentally ... 

  People who think of knock-backs in dating and
relationships as 'failures' are actually setting
themselves up to fail, BIG-TIME, in the long run. 

  They're thinking in terms of WINNING versus
LOSING. 

  And so, when they 'lose', in their own minds
they actually BECOME a 'loser'. 

  From that point on, every single thing that
happens becomes another opportunity to 'fail'. As
a result, the outcome of every situation becomes
SO IMPORTANT ...

  ... and so SCARY ...

  ... that it's literally paralyzing. You become
too frightened to attempt ANYTHING. 

  The best way out is to take a step back, and
remember that, whatever happens, IT'S NOT A BIG
DEAL.

  It's really not. There IS someone out there for
you ... all you have to do to find them is just keep
on being your best self, and being as happy and
fulfilled as possible in your OWN LIFE ... and he
will show up. 

  So if THIS particular situation doesn't work
out - it's NOT A BIG DEAL.

  When you're not too attached to the outcome of
a particular situation, you are IMMEDIATELY free
to act appropriately to it. You are no longer
paralyzed by a fear of 'failing'.

  (Paradoxically, it's usually the people who
care LESS about 'what happens' who are the ones
who actually get the best results.  And it's the
ones who OBSESS about what happens, and who get
all worked up about it, that DON'T get what they
want.)

  This is not about winning or losing. It's not
about 'failing'. It's about learning and
DEVELOPING as a woman. 

  Every encounter you have with a man can teach
you something about how to better yourself for the
next encounter. That's how you learn: from your
mistakes. 

  (I know - inconvenient.)